As a paramedic, Rachel was used to supporting others through crisis — not experiencing it herself. During a pregnancy complicated by hyperemesis, she faced overwhelming anxiety, sadness, and a sense of hopelessness that left the ‘helper’ feeling completely disoriented.

When Amber-Lee found herself unexpectedly pregnant, she knew life would change — but not in the ways she experienced. Through two pregnancies complicated by hyperemesis, a traumatic birth, and a challenging postpartum period, she navigated trauma, mental ill health, and the pressure of being ‘the strong one’ while silently struggling.

After birth, Natalie’s insomnia quickly spiralled into a mental health crisis, with sleepless nights giving way to panic, hallucinations, and the fear she would never sleep again. At her most vulnerable, she reached a breaking point that led her to seek urgent support.

During pregnancy, Natalie was consumed by anxiety and insomnia, constantly seeking reassurance and holding onto the hope that things would ease once her baby arrived. But after birth, the worry only deepened and became harder to contain.

Kristy had long coped with anxiety and depression by staying busy, but after infertility, birth trauma, and a decline in postpartum mental health, those familiar coping strategies no longer worked. As she struggled with the stillness of motherhood, an unexpected ADHD diagnosis reframed everything she thought she knew about herself.

Chloe’s story moves through a series of places that marked the height of her anxiety and melancholic depression — from hospital wards after a retained placenta to the streets where she pushed her pram while fighting suicidal ideation. From emergency departments to a mother-and-baby unit admission, she navigated severe symptoms and the challenge of accepting help.

Dayna’s story reflects what it can feel like when trauma compounds. After a complicated emergency caesarean and separation from her baby, she was left without the newborn bubble she had hoped for. What followed was ongoing anxiety, panic, rage, and hypervigilance, alongside D-MER and the lasting impact of birth trauma within a strained health system.

For the first three months of her daughter’s life, Sarah put on a brave face while anxiety and insomnia quietly intensified behind the scenes. When she could no longer hide the severity of her illness, she finally said, ‘I need serious help’, marking the beginning of her journey towards finding the support she needed.

OCD had been part of Emma’s life for many years, though it went unrecognised until early motherhood, following pregnancy loss and the birth of a premature baby during lockdown. What followed was an OCD crisis marked by depression, shame, and the challenges of accessing support. Emma reflects on the process of understanding her diagnosis and the role of acceptance, writing, and community in her recovery.

After a traumatic first birth, Laura entered her second pregnancy hoping for a different experience — a ‘redo’. But complications and a precipitous labour led to a second postpartum marked by flashbacks, insomnia, panic, and depression — an undoing rather than a redoing. Laura reflects on the impacts of birth trauma, and the process of rebuilding with the support she was able to access.

After a positive first postpartum experience, Jess never expected her next pregnancy to be any different — until she discovered she was carrying twins. As intrusive thoughts and compulsions intensified, her mental health rapidly declined, and the demands of caring for multiples compounded the feeling that she wasn’t enough. Despite support from acute mental health services, her symptoms escalated into hallucinations and psychosis.

As a midwife with no history of mental ill health, Caitlin never expected to develop severe postpartum depression and anxiety after the birth of her second child. Her condition escalated to the point of requiring an eight-week psychiatric admission in the same hospital where she worked, followed by electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) for treatment-resistant depression. Caitlin reflects on her journey through diagnosis, treatment, and the return of hope.

Jessie’s story begins in early motherhood, when she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and experienced vivid intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, and persistent distress. After relocating to rural NSW for family support, she struggled to access the right professional care. Jessie shares how advocating for herself helped change the trajectory of her motherhood experience.

Birth trauma shaped much of Claire’s early motherhood, impacting her mental and physical health in ways she never expected, alongside the challenges of border closures and a difficult feeding journey. When ‘failure to thrive’ was applied to her son, it became a label she internalised herself. Claire reflects on her experience of anxiety, PTSD, and learning to reconnect with herself as she redefined what it means to thrive.

In this personal episode, Rebecca shares her experience of a second pregnancy — one she had hoped would feel different. As she reflects on the similarities and differences from her first, she speaks openly about the conflicting emotions of pregnancy, including hope, fear, and uncertainty, and the support systems she is putting in place as she approaches birth, given her history of tokophobia, PTSD, and OCD.

As a perinatal and infant mental health psychologist, Ashlee expected the transition to motherhood to come naturally. Instead, she experienced severe anxiety in pregnancy and depression in postpartum, missing her own red flags while navigating feeding, sleep, and health challenges with her daughter. Ashlee reflects on the complexity of recognising mental ill health in motherhood, alongside her diagnosis of autism, and her journey towards seeking support and recovery.

With a background in child development psychology, Siobhan expected to feel prepared for motherhood. Instead, a traumatic birth and intense sleep deprivation during lockdown led to a postpartum experience marked by anxiety, depression, and, at its most severe, hallucinations and suicidal ideation. Siobhan reflects on the impact on her sense of self and the supports that helped her move towards recovery.

‘Are you feeding your baby?’ These were the words that confronted Elyse, an ICU nurse, one week postpartum when she was diagnosed with insufficient glandular tissue (IGT). Despite her relentless efforts to increase her supply, her mental health deteriorated, marked by grief, rage, and a growing sense of disconnection. Elyse reflects on the moment her need for additional support was recognised, and the process of letting go of pressure, control, and self-blame.

With a background in social work, Gemma didn’t expect the transition to motherhood to feel so disorienting. From early pregnancy, she experienced a profound sense of identity loss and anxiety, followed by a challenging postpartum marked by guilt and unmet expectations. Gemma reflects on the barriers she faced accessing support, and how reconnecting with herself — through therapy, work, and movement — helped her find her footing in motherhood.

After leaving the mother-and-baby unit, Sarah felt proud of her recovery — but her story didn’t end there. A relapse marked by severe depression led to further hospital admissions, forcing her to confront the reality of non-linear healing and its impact on her sense of self, including her experience as a self-confessed ‘frequent flyer’ of the MBU. In part two, Sarah reflects on the tension between progress, setback, and identity.