Trauma isn’t always about what happened - sometimes it’s about what didn’t.

Lisa already felt anxious and lonely navigating pregnancy, birth, and postpartum in a new country without the safety net of family or maternity care in her mother tongue. But this sense of isolation was only compounded by the absence of safety, connection, and support when Lisa’s newborn was rushed away to the special care nursery without explanation, leaving her alone for hours.

With her concerns about her baby’s reflux dismissed for weeks, access to a mother’s group denied because she was a second-time mum, and her mental health symptoms overlooked because she didn’t ‘look’ depressed - no matter where she turned, Lisa never felt seen, heard, or held.

In fact, depression, PTSD, insomnia, and rage consumed her life for several years until she found the right psychologist who finally made her feel seen, heard, and held.

Lisa’s story emphatically stresses the importance of connection and being held during the perinatal period. Now, through her work, she helps create the very community she needed, and offers a message of hope for others walking the same path.

In this episode, we explore:

• the added layers of isolation as an immigrant

• the vital role of compassion and humanity in maternity care

• the path to recovery with IFS, EMDR, neurofeedback, meditation, and Maternal Journal

• the reminder that the bond with our baby is capable of repair

• the need to advocate - always - for ourselves and for our children

Tune in to Lisa’s breath-taking story of trauma, healing, and reclaiming her power.

When Amber-Lee found herself unexpectedly pregnant, she knew life was about to change - but nothing could have prepared her for the profound impact that a complicated pregnancy, birth, and postpartum period would have on her mental health.

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Amber-Lee from @thepowerofbirth and host of Can We Talk About This? who candidly shares her personal experience of perinatal mental ill health with unflinching honesty. From two unexpected pregnancies to the debilitating effects of hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), birth trauma, PTSD, rage, depression, and anxiety - no part of her experience is off limits.

Through both humour and grace, Amber-Lee touches on:

• The shock and emotional weight of unexpected pregnancies

• The physical and psychological toll of hyperemesis gravidarum (HG)

• Navigating birth trauma and injury as a new mother

• How postpartum PTSD and rage can manifest - and why we need to talk about them

• The importance of normalising maternal ambivalence

• The struggle of being ‘the strong one’ while silently suffering

• What healing looks like and why talking about perinatal mental health matters

Wherever you are on your journey, Amber-Lee’s story reminds us that it’s not your fault, your experience matters, recovery is possible, and you’re allowed to laugh to cope.

These conversations matter. So let’s keep talking about it.

Please note, this episode discusses the lived experience of an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy. Go gently.

Just when she thought the debilitating anxiety of her pregnancy was behind her, Natalie found herself pushed to the brink by insomnia. What began as ten sleepless nights quickly unravelled into terrifying hallucinations and inescapable panic that she would never be able to sleep again.

In this raw and deeply moving episode, we sit with Natalie for part two of her story as she reveals the emotional toll of sleep deprivation and divulges one of the most vulnerable moments of her life: the unexpected mental health crisis she faced in early postpartum.

With heart-wrenching honesty, Natalie recounts the moment she asked her husband to leave the room so she could confide in the Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team (CATT) about her hallucination, the bittersweet decision to separate from her newborn baby in the hopes of finally getting some sleep, the desperation she felt when her prescribed sleeping medication did not work and the unwavering support of her family as they witnessed the darkest hours of her crisis in the emergency room and the acute mental health ward.

This is not just a story of survival. It's a story about the profound difference that compassionate care can make, about the urgent need for better access to mother-and-baby mental health services, and about the importance of breaking the silence around perinatal mental illness. Above all, it’s a reminder that in our darkest moments, being held - both physically and emotionally - can be a lifeline.

Whether you’re a parent, partner, healthcare provider, or simply someone who cares, Natalie’s story will stay with you for a long time and show you that there is help, there is hope.

Please note, this episode discusses suicidal ideation. Go gently.

Like so many of us with antenatal anxiety, Natalie downplayed her symptoms and clung to the belief that she would find relief from the all-consuming worry and insomnia when her baby was finally in her arms. But instead of finding relief after birth, Natalie’s symptoms only grew stronger.

In this heartfelt episode, Natalie shares in excruciating detail the messiness of mental health during pregnancy and recounts how a flare of her pre-existing autoimmune disease and a ‘high-risk’ label only fuelled her tireless need for reassurance: fixating on the baby’s movements, counting down the days until the next scan at the hospital, scouring Facebook groups to compare stories, and trying to interpret doppler readings on Google.

This is a story I hear all too often, and one that I personally know all too well.

This is a story about the human mind’s desperate attempts to find safety from constant anxiety and insomnia.

This is a story about deep love and deep fear, and how closely those can exist side-by-side.

This is part one of Natalie’s raw and profoundly relatable story.

If you’ve ever felt consumed by anxiety in pregnancy or early postpartum, or know someone who has, this episode is for you.

Please note, this episode discusses suicidal ideation. Go gently.

Whenever Kristy struggled with anxiety or depression in the past, she coped by keeping herself busy. Even when she endured years and years of IVF and ICSI, she coped by keeping herself busy. But when she experienced birth trauma and a sudden decline in her mental health during postpartum, none of her previous coping mechanisms could be relied on.

Instead of throwing herself into exercising three times a day, working on weekends, starting projects, learning a new skill, doing puzzles, building Lego, or reading, Kristy was confronted by the stillness of motherhood. Then, after nine months of depression, culminating in suicidal ideation, Kristy went to her GP for help, where she was confronted by an unexpected, but enlightening, diagnosis: ADHD.

In this heartfelt and insightful episode, Kristy shares the many ways she is managing her ADHD and mental health in motherhood, while reflecting on the lessons she has learnt along her journey and celebrating all the friends who have helped her every step of the way.

If you’re an older mum, if you’re a mum who has undergone fertility treatments, if you’re a mum with a history of anxiety or depression, if you’re a mum who is navigating ADHD in motherhood, or if you’re just an all-round awesome human being, then this episode is for you.

It’s nearly impossible to think about Chloe’s story without thinking about all the places where she navigated the worst of her anxiety and melancholic depression: the hospital where she was left parenting in a traumatised body after a retained placenta; the inner-city Sydney suburb where, shockingly, she could not access any maternity support services; her in-law’s house on the other side of Sydney where she moved to create a village but could not sleep; and the local esplanade where she pushed the pram and fought against her suicidal ideation every day. That’s not even mentioning the emergency department, the short-stay psychiatric emergency care unit, and eventually the mother-and-baby hospital (MBU) where she was admitted for two months, all of which were integral to her story.

In each setting, Chloe not only faced unenviable symptoms, but she also had to confront her own unwillingness to ask for help, the lies depression made her believe, her own trauma around electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), and the question many MBU mothers grapple with ‘when will it finally be my turn to go home?’

This is Chloe’s profound story, what she calls her real reckoning and dark night of the soul, that explores the realities of experiencing and recovering from an acute mental health episode in early motherhood. It’s a story about losing and finding yourself again in the most unexpected of places, but above all, it’s a story about finally coming home.

Please note, this episode touches on suicide and suicidal ideation. Go gently.

Dayna’s story really gives meaning to the phrase one thing after another.

When she birthed her son, there was no golden hour or newborn bubble, which is something she’s still grieving. Instead, there was an emergency c-section, a dystonic reaction, mistreatment from hospital staff, over 30 hours of separation from her baby, and a special care nursery admission, not to mention flashbacks, anxiety, panic attacks, rage, and hypervigilance.

More curveballs only compounded this trauma in the form of dysphoric milk ejection reflex (D-MER), ongoing physical pain, cow’s milk protein allergy, a six-month waitlist to see a psychologist, and returning to work at a hospital.

The mental health impacts of birth trauma are real, and Dayna articulates this with such vulnerability and insight - and a bit of humour too. Through this conversation, she tells a story about parallels and contradictions, about mothering with trauma, about how her work as a nurse both helped and complicated her experience, and about the unforgettable experiences that will stay with her for a long time - for both the right and wrong reasons.

This episode will make you feel every emotion - one after another, after another.

With a family history of postpartum depression, Chloe thought she knew what signs and symptoms to look out for when it came to perinatal mental illness. But, as she says, she didn’t know about the ‘opposite side’.

Immediately after birth, Chloe couldn’t sleep, and within five days, she was experiencing a psychotic episode - or what she calls, ‘the crash’. Like clockwork, the same thing happened within five days of her second birth.

In this episode, Tassie mum of two, Chloe, vividly recounts the insomnia, euphoria, mania, hallucinations, and delusions that consumed her early postpartum days, as well as the crippling and juxtaposing depression that unfortunately followed her second episode.

Above all, Chloe takes me on a journey through the aftermath of her experiences: the loneliness she felt, the need to make sense of what happened, discovering her new ‘normal’, fostering support and connections, the trial-and-error that comes with recovery, and all the ways she is determinedly trying to make peace with it all.

This is Chloe’s not-to-be-missed story about the highs and lows (and everything in between) of parenting and surviving postpartum psychosis.

There are SO many parts of Sophie’s story that I want to emphasise. Like how depression made Sophie feel so numb that she didn’t know what to say when a nurse asked her if she loved her daughter. Or like how intrusive thoughts made her feel so scared that she didn’t want to go near her baby. Or like how the symptoms of psychosis made her feel so confused that her husband had to write her detailed instructions to be able to shower. Or like how she panicked, instead of celebrated, when her ‘involuntary’ label was lifted in the MBU. Or, or, or… you see what I mean?!

Among the MANY topics we cover in this heartfelt episode, Sophie and I discuss:

• how sleep and feeding challenges become a fixation

• the ‘stickiness’ of intrusive thoughts

• how self-doubt affects our mental health and parenting

• small acts of kindness that aren’t small at all

• how the difficult decision to undertake TMS was Sophie’s turning point

• …and so much more!

With some tears and laughs along the way, Sophie shares with me the long road to get to where she is now: a PANDA Community Champion, a facilitator of the Circle of Security program, the heart and soul behind AttachED, and most of all, pregnant and ready to welcome baby number two.

I could say so much more, but just listen to this episode - trust me, you won’t regret it.

Sarah put on a brave face for the first three months of Isla's life but behind closed doors, the all-consuming anxiety was only getting worse. It wasn't until her husband was home over Christmas that she could no longer hide the severity of the illness and she finally said 'I need serious help'.

Many things stand out to me about Sarah's story: the pervasive anxiety that invaded her early postpartum experience; the insomnia and inability to switch off that added to her stress; the eventual depression that overwhelmed her capacity to cope; and the challenges she faced navigating an unfamiliar mental health system.

But what stands out to me the most about Sarah's story is Sarah herself and her willingness to find and accept the right support. From joining Facebook groups to connecting with a social worker, from writing to inpatient MBU stays, from in-home support to unlikely friendships with those who have walked this path before us, and more, this is a powerful story about one mother's determination to feel connected to her daughter once more.

Please note, this episode discusses suicidal ideation. Go gently.

For over a year, Ariane hid the true severity of her symptoms and tried so hard to portray a choreographed image of the good, responsive mother who kept it all together. Motherhood was the performance of her life… until it wasn't.

The stage makeup and sparkles fell away when her symptoms escalated and she had to be admitted to a general psychiatric hospital. Ariane had to finally step out of the spotlight and allow her psychiatrist to take the lead, but this is when she was able to recover.

In this episode we discuss all the facets of Ariane’s recovery: medication, diagnosis, psychodynamic therapy with her psychiatrist, a hospital admission, art therapy, dancing, embracing the mundanity of recovery, and finding purpose through writing, advocating via the Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE), teaching ballet, and publishing her new novel, Because I’m Not Myself, You See.

Part story, part book review, part in-depth discussion about the current state of perinatal mental health and advocacy, and part amused ramblings from two MBU graduates, this is part two of Ariane’s story. Buckle up, it’s going to be quite the ride.

When Ariane became a mother, it wasn’t just the sudden onset of delusions, hallucinations, and severe depression that haunted her early days of parenting. From body image triggers, the pervasive grip of perfectionism, the reluctance to seek help, and the fear of her son being forcibly removed, it was also Ariane’s complex history as a ballet dancer, case worker and registered psychologist that cast a long, dark shadow over her mental health in pregnancy and postpartum.

In this episode, I am joined by none other than Ariane Beeston, author of the newly released memoir Because I’m not Myself, You See, who so vulnerably revisits the ghosts of her past with me and who shares, with incredible insight, the realities of mental ill health as both a patient, former practitioner, and advocate.

This is part one of Ariane’s harrowing, albeit profound, story, that explores her formative years and early motherhood, up until the moment she realised she had to release the control she sought over her past and present in order to welcome recovery in the future.

Please note, this episode discusses suicidal ideation, and briefly mentions suicide and infanticide. Go gently.

OCD had been part of Emma’s life for many years, although she just didn’t know it. Like for so many of us, her life-long OCD wasn’t picked up on until early motherhood, after two miscarriages and the birth of a premature baby during a pandemic lockdown.

In Emma’s words, “it awoke the OCD beast.”

This is one mother’s poignant story about the pain of loss, of experiencing depression and an OCD crisis in motherhood, the resulting shame and anger that came with the diagnosis, and the all-too-familiar lengthy and financial barriers encountered when seeking support.

This is also one mother’s touching story about the very real power that radical acceptance, psychoeducation, writing, and community can have on the journey towards recovery and taming the ‘OCD beast’.

This is Emma’s story - of both power and pain, of acceptance and resistance, of isolation and community - and it’s a story that will stay with you for a long time.

Please note, this episode discusses miscarriage, molar pregnancy, the loss of a loved one, suicidal ideation, and termination of pregnancy. Go gently.

After experiencing birth trauma and the isolation of becoming a first-time mother during the pandemic, Laura was both excited and determined that her next pregnancy, birth, and postpartum was going to be different. The experience with her daughter, Millie, was going to be her ‘redo’.

Unfortunately for Laura, re-experiencing fetal growth restriction (IUGR) and a precipitous labour broke her. Flashbacks, insomnia, panic attacks, and depression immediately hijacked her second postpartum and left her feeling more hopeless and alone than ever before - an undoing, rather than a redoing.

As Millie turns one, Laura and I sit down to reflect on the year that was: the pervasive way that birth trauma impacts our parenting, the incredible and not-so-incredible supports that Laura was able to lean on, the challenges of navigating a mental health system that’s not neatly designed to accommodate the logistics of parenting an older child, and the moments Laura can now enjoy with her daughter thanks to the help she did receive.

This is Laura’s story - a story about reflection and rebuilding - and it isn’t one to miss.

After a blissful experience with her first son, it never occurred to Jess that a subsequent pregnancy and postpartum could be any different - until she found out she was pregnant with twins.

From real and perceived health complications, Jess’s mental health rapidly declined with every intrusive thought and compulsion that took over her life. The increased caretaking demands of parenting multiples and a toddler only compounded the feeling that she wasn’t enough for her children. Despite being cared for by the local acute mental health team, Jess started to experience hallucinations and psychosis.

This is one mother’s heart-wrenching story that epitomises the painful realities of experiencing a perinatal mental illness: of your children being both your motivation to get better and your trigger; of wanting to keep your children safe but feeling unsafe in your own body and mind; and of wanting the best for your children but feeling like they’re better off without you.

This is Jess’s story. And it isn’t a story to miss.

As a midwife with zero history of mental ill health, Caitlin didn’t expect to develop severe postpartum depression and anxiety at all, let alone after the birth of her second child.

She certainly didn’t expect to be wheeled through the same hospital where she worked down to the psychiatric ward for an eight-week admission.

And of course she never expected that electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) would be part of her story to treat her treatment-resistant depression.

In this poignant episode, Caitlin takes us on her unexpected journey of experiencing mental ill health for the first time in motherhood, of navigating the unfamiliar mental health system to receive the right diagnosis and treatment, and of confronting nearly every taboo of mental health along the way.

Finally, Caitlin recalls the special moment when she ‘saw the light’, when she no longer felt worthless, and when she felt a glimmer of hope again - which, after everything she went through, was something she never truly expected to feel again.

This isn’t an episode to miss.

You can connect with Caitlin on Instagram at beneaththepalms_midwifery where she draws on her own experiences to advocate for her pregnant and postpartum patients in Cairns, Queensland.

Please note, this episode discusses suicidality. Go gently.

When Tessa was admitted to a mother-and-baby psychiatric unit during pregnancy, she made her unborn baby a promise that they’d never have to return. Unfortunately, the challenges of early postpartum and the pressures of perfection only compounded until she and her new born son were readmitted to her ‘little safe haven’ the MBU - not once, but twice.

This is one mother’s captivating story about finally accepting the need for additional support in its many forms, about letting go of shame and guilt, about coming to terms with a new diagnosis, and about the life-saving impacts that a quality care team can make.

Above all, this is Tessa’s story about looking back and seeing just how far she’s actually come.

After her dream physiological labour and birth, Amelia’s world was turned upside by a sudden postpartum haemorrhage that whisked her away from her husband and daughter.

From the moment she awoke from the surgery, Amelia was consumed by mania and insomnia. Over the next eight weeks, her postpartum psychosis escalated but Amelia was able to hide most of her delusions and hallucinations from her care providers. That is until finally she made the brave call to ask for help and present to her local hospital.

Three years on, Amelia is expecting baby number two and shares openly about all the supports that are in place to protect her mental health this time around - given the 50% chance of recurrence.

Join me as Amelia discusses the overall lack of awareness around postpartum psychosis, her initial misdiagnosis of PTSD, what worked for her and what didn’t, and the incredible support she did eventually receive.

Please note, this episode mentions suicidal ideation. Go gently.

This is a story that begins in November 2022 when I received a message from a new mum who wanted nothing more than to change the trajectory of her motherhood story.

This is a story about a mum who’d just been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, who was experiencing vivid intrusive thoughts and panic attacks, and who couldn’t stop crying.

This is a story about a mum who made the move back to rural NSW to be closer to her family for support, but who was now struggling to find the right professional support for herself.

This is a story about a mum who advocated so hard for herself so she could finally say ‘that’s not my story anymore’.

This is Jessie’s story.

Birth trauma permeated much of Claire’s story and it impacted her mental and physical health in ways she could never have imagined. This was only exacerbated by the border closures and a tumultuous feeding journey.

‘Failure to thrive’ was a label that was applied to her son, but ultimately became a label she applied to herself.

In this episode, Claire @mamahood.my.way talks about the anxiety and paralysis she felt when trying to conceive, a PTSD and Lupus diagnosis, a birth debrief with her hospital team to make sense of her experience, the power of reconnecting with herself, and the joy of her family finally meeting her son after more than a year of border closures.

This is Claire’s incredible story of learning what it means to thrive as a mother and empowering others to do the same - however that looks!

Please note, the episode discusses birth trauma. Go gently.