Birth Trauma & PTSD

Trauma isn’t always about what happened - sometimes it’s about what didn’t.

Lisa already felt anxious and lonely navigating pregnancy, birth, and postpartum in a new country without the safety net of family or maternity care in her mother tongue. But this sense of isolation was only compounded by the absence of safety, connection, and support when Lisa’s newborn was rushed away to the special care nursery without explanation, leaving her alone for hours.

With her concerns about her baby’s reflux dismissed for weeks, access to a mother’s group denied because she was a second-time mum, and her mental health symptoms overlooked because she didn’t ‘look’ depressed - no matter where she turned, Lisa never felt seen, heard, or held.

In fact, depression, PTSD, insomnia, and rage consumed her life for several years until she found the right psychologist who finally made her feel seen, heard, and held.

Lisa’s story emphatically stresses the importance of connection and being held during the perinatal period. Now, through her work, she helps create the very community she needed, and offers a message of hope for others walking the same path.

In this episode, we explore:

• the added layers of isolation as an immigrant

• the vital role of compassion and humanity in maternity care

• the path to recovery with IFS, EMDR, neurofeedback, meditation, and Maternal Journal

• the reminder that the bond with our baby is capable of repair

• the need to advocate - always - for ourselves and for our children

Tune in to Lisa’s breath-taking story of trauma, healing, and reclaiming her power.

When Amber-Lee found herself unexpectedly pregnant, she knew life was about to change - but nothing could have prepared her for the profound impact that a complicated pregnancy, birth, and postpartum period would have on her mental health.

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Amber-Lee from @thepowerofbirth and host of Can We Talk About This? who candidly shares her personal experience of perinatal mental ill health with unflinching honesty. From two unexpected pregnancies to the debilitating effects of hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), birth trauma, PTSD, rage, depression, and anxiety - no part of her experience is off limits.

Through both humour and grace, Amber-Lee touches on:

• The shock and emotional weight of unexpected pregnancies

• The physical and psychological toll of hyperemesis gravidarum (HG)

• Navigating birth trauma and injury as a new mother

• How postpartum PTSD and rage can manifest - and why we need to talk about them

• The importance of normalising maternal ambivalence

• The struggle of being ‘the strong one’ while silently suffering

• What healing looks like and why talking about perinatal mental health matters

Wherever you are on your journey, Amber-Lee’s story reminds us that it’s not your fault, your experience matters, recovery is possible, and you’re allowed to laugh to cope.

These conversations matter. So let’s keep talking about it.

Please note, this episode discusses the lived experience of an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy. Go gently.

Whenever Kristy struggled with anxiety or depression in the past, she coped by keeping herself busy. Even when she endured years and years of IVF and ICSI, she coped by keeping herself busy. But when she experienced birth trauma and a sudden decline in her mental health during postpartum, none of her previous coping mechanisms could be relied on.

Instead of throwing herself into exercising three times a day, working on weekends, starting projects, learning a new skill, doing puzzles, building Lego, or reading, Kristy was confronted by the stillness of motherhood. Then, after nine months of depression, culminating in suicidal ideation, Kristy went to her GP for help, where she was confronted by an unexpected, but enlightening, diagnosis: ADHD.

In this heartfelt and insightful episode, Kristy shares the many ways she is managing her ADHD and mental health in motherhood, while reflecting on the lessons she has learnt along her journey and celebrating all the friends who have helped her every step of the way.

If you’re an older mum, if you’re a mum who has undergone fertility treatments, if you’re a mum with a history of anxiety or depression, if you’re a mum who is navigating ADHD in motherhood, or if you’re just an all-round awesome human being, then this episode is for you.

It’s nearly impossible to think about Chloe’s story without thinking about all the places where she navigated the worst of her anxiety and melancholic depression: the hospital where she was left parenting in a traumatised body after a retained placenta; the inner-city Sydney suburb where, shockingly, she could not access any maternity support services; her in-law’s house on the other side of Sydney where she moved to create a village but could not sleep; and the local esplanade where she pushed the pram and fought against her suicidal ideation every day. That’s not even mentioning the emergency department, the short-stay psychiatric emergency care unit, and eventually the mother-and-baby hospital (MBU) where she was admitted for two months, all of which were integral to her story.

In each setting, Chloe not only faced unenviable symptoms, but she also had to confront her own unwillingness to ask for help, the lies depression made her believe, her own trauma around electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), and the question many MBU mothers grapple with ‘when will it finally be my turn to go home?’

This is Chloe’s profound story, what she calls her real reckoning and dark night of the soul, that explores the realities of experiencing and recovering from an acute mental health episode in early motherhood. It’s a story about losing and finding yourself again in the most unexpected of places, but above all, it’s a story about finally coming home.

Please note, this episode touches on suicide and suicidal ideation. Go gently.

Dayna’s story really gives meaning to the phrase one thing after another.

When she birthed her son, there was no golden hour or newborn bubble, which is something she’s still grieving. Instead, there was an emergency c-section, a dystonic reaction, mistreatment from hospital staff, over 30 hours of separation from her baby, and a special care nursery admission, not to mention flashbacks, anxiety, panic attacks, rage, and hypervigilance.

More curveballs only compounded this trauma in the form of dysphoric milk ejection reflex (D-MER), ongoing physical pain, cow’s milk protein allergy, a six-month waitlist to see a psychologist, and returning to work at a hospital.

The mental health impacts of birth trauma are real, and Dayna articulates this with such vulnerability and insight - and a bit of humour too. Through this conversation, she tells a story about parallels and contradictions, about mothering with trauma, about how her work as a nurse both helped and complicated her experience, and about the unforgettable experiences that will stay with her for a long time - for both the right and wrong reasons.

This episode will make you feel every emotion - one after another, after another.

After experiencing birth trauma and the isolation of becoming a first-time mother during the pandemic, Laura was both excited and determined that her next pregnancy, birth, and postpartum was going to be different. The experience with her daughter, Millie, was going to be her ‘redo’.

Unfortunately for Laura, re-experiencing fetal growth restriction (IUGR) and a precipitous labour broke her. Flashbacks, insomnia, panic attacks, and depression immediately hijacked her second postpartum and left her feeling more hopeless and alone than ever before - an undoing, rather than a redoing.

As Millie turns one, Laura and I sit down to reflect on the year that was: the pervasive way that birth trauma impacts our parenting, the incredible and not-so-incredible supports that Laura was able to lean on, the challenges of navigating a mental health system that’s not neatly designed to accommodate the logistics of parenting an older child, and the moments Laura can now enjoy with her daughter thanks to the help she did receive.

This is Laura’s story - a story about reflection and rebuilding - and it isn’t one to miss.

Birth trauma permeated much of Claire’s story and it impacted her mental and physical health in ways she could never have imagined. This was only exacerbated by the border closures and a tumultuous feeding journey.

‘Failure to thrive’ was a label that was applied to her son, but ultimately became a label she applied to herself.

In this episode, Claire @mamahood.my.way talks about the anxiety and paralysis she felt when trying to conceive, a PTSD and Lupus diagnosis, a birth debrief with her hospital team to make sense of her experience, the power of reconnecting with herself, and the joy of her family finally meeting her son after more than a year of border closures.

This is Claire’s incredible story of learning what it means to thrive as a mother and empowering others to do the same - however that looks!

Please note, the episode discusses birth trauma. Go gently.

With a background in child development psychology and extensive experience working with thousands of babies, Siobhan was, what she thought, going to be off to a running start in motherhood.

That was until she was confronted by a traumatic birth and intense sleep deprivation at the height of the pandemic lockdowns.

Siobhan’s sense of self was challenged and her first postpartum experience was overshadowed by chronic anxiety and depression. With the development of hallucinations and suicidal ideation, Siobhan’s mental health deteriorated until she became unrecognisable to those who knew and loved her.

In this poignant and relatable episode, Siobhan talks about everything that helped her see the light and gave her confidence to expand her family: from occupational therapy, medication, a social worker, a birth debrief, and formal postpartum planning, to her ultimate outlet, running.

I thank Siobhan from the bottom of my heart for sharing her experience so openly, and I welcome everyone to listen to the incredible insights that this inspirational woman has learnt along the way.

This isn’t an episode to miss. Run, don’t walk!

Please note, this episode discusses suicidal ideation. Go gently.

Monique’s birth may have been quick, but its complications and long-term impacts were anything but. From a 3rd degree tear, prolapse, severe postpartum haemorrhage, partial levator avulsion, a near death experience, and a stay in the ICU, she paints a picture of the pain from her birth trauma and postpartum PTSD as a ‘storm’ - one that she is still weathering.

But thanks to talk therapy with her long-time psychologist, self-compassion, group therapy through the Australasian Birth Trauma Association (ABTA), and the support of her husband, it’s no longer a storm that she is weathering alone.

Join me in this episode to hold space for Monique’s incredibly moving story that shines a gut-wrenching light on birth trauma and why it matters. Please note, this episode vividly describes the experience and impact of physical and psychological trauma - go gently.

With a history of anxiety and depression, Jess and her care team went into pregnancy with a plan to protect her mental health during postpartum. Unfortunately, serious and sudden medical diagnoses for her son, Jasper, immediately after birth meant Jess’s mental health was neglected amongst relentless surgeries, a two-month NICU admission, and full-time caretaking for a sick baby.

The NICU experience cast a long shadow over Jess’s motherhood journey, leaving behind a trail of self-blame, overwhelm, uncertainty, and doubt. Through the support of caring helpline staff, changing medication, making mum friends, a GP that took her seriously, and reclaiming her passions, this is the incredible story of one mother’s journey to come into her own light and to help other mothers know that they do not have to struggle alone.

Follow Jess on Instagram @jesscareywrites and visit her website https://jesscareywrites.com/ to find her collection of books about mental health for both children and adults.

Between a PCOS diagnosis, fertility struggles, and several rounds of IVF, it was not easy for Emma to bring her three boys into the world. Unfortunately, trying to conceive was only part of the mental and emotional battles she faced.

Serious health complications in pregnancy, antenatal anxiety, guilt about not loving pregnancy, and a traumatic birth with her first son, only compounded the mental health struggles that Emma was already facing from years of infertility. By the time her second son was born, Emma’s anxiety was tipped over the edge processing her grandmother’s passing and by an accident that nearly claimed the lives of her husband and son.

From an MBU admission to cutting the ribbon at the opening of Sydney’s newest public MBU, this is the breath-taking story of one woman’s determination to prioritise her own healing and to shape the healing of all women who may one day walk the same path. Emma’s story is as incredible as she is.

Please note, this episode details the lived experience of infertility, miscarriages, and IVF. Go gently.

Like many mothers, Sarah from The Pesky Placenta Society struggled to decipher whether her pregnancy symptoms were ‘normal’ or something more sinister. But with a pre-existing chronic illness, Sarah also had to confront her complicated relationship with health anxiety. Unfortunately, the concerns she raised were proven to be more than ‘just anxiety’ when at 35 weeks pregnant, Sarah nearly died from pre-eclampsia - or what she refers to as “her pesky placenta”.

This is a story about the challenges of navigating both mental ill health and physical ill health in pregnancy; about fighting to be believed and to believe yourself; about the trauma that comes with nearly dying during what is supposed to be the happiest time of your life; about the struggles of bonding with your baby when your brain tells you that mothering is a barrier to your healing; and about the power of pre-emptive planning to protect your mental health. Most importantly, it is a story about hope that with the right support, things will get better.

This is Sarah’s story.

As a self-confessed ‘flaming extrovert’, Lauren struggled with the isolating and all-consuming eat-play-sleep-bathe-repeat cycle of early motherhood. By six months postpartum, the newborn ‘love bubbles’ that she felt so intensely after both of her births became overshadowed by the onset of postpartum depression.

From IVF, miscarriage, severe pregnancy health complications, to two traumatic births, this depression was only the latest in a long line of anxiety and trauma that Lauren experienced on the journey to motherhood.

In this powerful episode, Lauren opens up about her mental health during her pregnancy and postpartum with both of her daughters, and shares with us what helped her through this time - from the PANDA National Helpline (1300 726 306), medication, talk therapy, EMDR, and a psychiatric hospital admission, to her supportive and loving partner, Alex.

While walking the sunny halls of the psychiatric hospital, Lauren created her blog ‘Mental as a Mother’ and is now a volunteer for PANDA. You can follow Lauren on Instagram as @mental.asamother where she hilariously shares all things motherhood, mental health, fertility, and feminism - while wearing her signature bold lip, of course.

When Helen, a midwife and academic, describes her mental health in pregnancy and postpartum, she uses the word ‘blindsided’.

Despite her expertise, Helen was confronted by post-traumatic stress disorder following two traumatic pregnancies, a NICU admission, baby loss, grief, and the continued uncertainties of IVF. As a health clinician, she was also staggered by the prevalence and general lack of awareness of psychological trauma in the perinatal period.

In this episode, Helen takes us on her painful journey of trauma through pregnancy and postpartum, to her subsequent research and advocacy as a result of her experiences. We also discuss the importance of language in this space, post-traumatic growth, grief, stereotypes, trigger warnings, trauma-informed care, and art therapy.

I thank Helen from the bottom of my heart for sharing her story so candidly.

You can find Helen on Instagram as @reallifemidwife where she uses her platform to raise awareness, validate, and educate us all about perinatal psychological trauma (and where she occasionally creates reels of herself in Grey’s Anatomy cast photos).

Please note, this episode discusses baby loss. If you are able to listen, I welcome you to join me in ‘sitting in the shit’ with Helen.

Like everything else in her life, Jess had many plans for motherhood. As planned, she fell pregnant after completing her psychologist registration. But when Jess fell pregnant, she was surprised that her once positive outlook was overshadowed by an all-consuming sense of dread and anxiety. Despite sharing this openly with her care providers, her severe anxiety remained undiagnosed.

To her relief, that relentless anxiety ended the moment her daughter, Charlotte, was born - 3 months early! Jess found that she coped better with the unexpected preeclampsia diagnosis, the emergency c-section at 28 weeks gestation, and the subsequent 51-day NICU stay in a hospital over an hour away from home, than she did with pregnancy.

Unfortunately, it was finally bringing her little girl home - a moment she’d waited so long for - that saw the return of her anxiety. But this time, it was crippling.

With the support of an incredible care team, featuring her GP, the hospital-appointed psychologist, and her family and friends, Jess’s anxiety started to ease and she could finally enjoy those moments of motherhood she dreamed about - like sitting on the couch with her daughter in their pyjamas - just as planned.

At 18 weeks pregnant, Aimee suffered the unimaginable - her waters ruptured. But to the surprise of every doctor, Aimee’s waters resealed and at 38 weeks, Evie, a healthy baby girl, was born.

But her relief and joy vanished when suddenly she felt like she was living the worst case scenario she feared, rather than the happy ending she got. Aimee hid her suffering for weeks, until one day her shocked husband found her in a heap on the floor.

I spent most of my life imagining motherhood. I couldn't imagine anything else - not a career, not travel, not study - just motherhood. What I didn't imagine, however, was a mental breakdown that sent me to a psychiatric ward only days after my son's birth.

Join me as I share part two of my story where I talk about how my postpartum unfolded in all the ways I could never have imagined.