Post-Traumatic Growth in the Perinatal Period: A Possibility, Not an Expectation
Photo by Ana Curcan on Unsplash
Share
Traumatic experiences during pregnancy, birth, or early parenthood can change people in many ways. While the pain of trauma remains, some people also notice meaningful changes in how they see themselves, their perspectives, their relationships, or their priorities. Pain and growth do not cancel each other out—they can exist at the same time.
Psychology has a name for this possibility of positive psychological change after trauma: post-traumatic growth.
Post-traumatic growth is sometimes confused with ideas like “everything happens for a reason,” “finding a silver lining,” or suggestions that trauma was somehow "worth it." But the concept is far more nuanced.
This article explores what post-traumatic growth is, what it isn't, what the research tells us, and why it is never something anyone should feel expected to achieve.
What is post-traumatic growth?
Post-traumatic growth (PTG) describes the meaningful psychological changes that can sometimes emerge following a deeply distressing or traumatic experience (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004).
Post-traumatic growth is a well-established concept in trauma psychology. The theory suggests that traumatic experiences can “shake” a person’s existing beliefs about themselves, others, and the world around them (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 1998). For some people, those beliefs are gradually rebuilt over time, shaping new ways of understanding themselves, their relationships, and what matters most.
In your words.
“You just realise how much you've actually changed and how far you've actually come. And it's just... I actually think it's one of the proudest moments of my life is looking back and going, “I did make it through all that” even when I thought I didn't. And when I said “I couldn't do it,” I've done it, and I will continue to keep doing it."
Post-traumatic growth has been observed following many different types of trauma. In the perinatal period, research has explored post-traumatic growth following experiences such as traumatic birth, pregnancy complications, pregnancy loss, neonatal intensive care (NICU) admission, or other traumatic experiences during pregnancy, birth, or early parenthood. These experiences can affect not only mental health, but also identity, relationships, and hopes for the future.
Not everyone who experiences trauma will experience post-traumatic growth—and that's okay. Growth isn't something that can be expected, measured, or forced. It is simply one of many possible changes that may emerge as someone adapts to life after trauma.
What can post-traumatic growth look like?
Post-traumatic growth doesn’t always involve dramatic life changes. More often, it is reflected in subtle but meaningful changes that become apparent over time.
In your words.
“In that sense, it helps me live with it—to work in this space. Yes, I shouldn’t have gone through it. It’s incredibly unfair, I don’t know how our story will end. But yeah it helps me to know, without pumping my own tyres, that I have a lot of power in this space because I’ve done extra training, I’m researching actively, and I have the lived experience.”
“That’s why I put the time and energy into it, so that I can hopefully get through to some people who need it and make what is a really difficult time a tiny bit more tolerable.”
“It just helps me live with it.”
Post-traumatic growth may look different for everyone. Some parents describe recognising strengths they didn’t know they had, rebuilding confidence, setting healthier boundaries, finding new meaning, or feeling more connected to others. Others find themselves advocating for change, supporting parents with similar experiences, or wanting to improve care for future parents.
These changes often develop gradually as people process and adapt to what happened, rather than appearing immediately after trauma (Beck et al., 2018). Research exploring post-traumatic growth following traumatic childbirth has identified themes such as an increased sense of personal strength, deeper connections with others, and a greater appreciation of life (Sawyer & Ayers, 2009; Beck et al., 2018).
Recognising these changes doesn't mean the experience was necessary, worthwhile, or that someone feels grateful it happened. Post-traumatic growth describes the possibility that, for some people, meaningful changes may emerge alongside—not because of—their experience.
What post-traumatic growth doesn't mean
Post-traumatic growth is often misunderstood as feeling grateful for what happened or finding a silver lining. In reality, it means something quite different.
Myth 1: Trauma happens for a reason.
Post-traumatic growth doesn’t suggest your experience was meant to happen or that suffering is necessary for personal growth. There is no expectation that something good must come from suffering. You do not have to find a silver lining or feel grateful for what happened.
Myth 2: Recovery and growth are the same thing.
Post-traumatic growth and recovery are related, but different. Recovery is about healing and learning to live with what happened. Growth refers to the possibility that positive psychological changes may emerge alongside that process. It isn’t an expectation or a measure of how well you’re healing. Some people experience both, while others recover without describing any sense of growth.
Myth 3: Post-traumatic growth is the opposite of PTSD.
Post-traumatic growth and PTSD can co-exist. You can experience growth while also living with symptoms of PTSD, grief, or anxiety. Growth and distress are not mutually exclusive.
Myth 4: You should grow from trauma.
Not everyone who experiences trauma will experience post-traumatic growth, and no one should feel expected to. Post-traumatic growth is not something you can make happen by trying harder or thinking positively.
There is no prize for growing from trauma, and there is no failure in simply surviving it.
In your words.
"While I wasn't the architect or a builder or anything like that, I really felt like I had so much power to influence what it could be for families and how it could make lives better… I've got the opportunity to contribute to their healing."
Gentle reminders
If there's one thing to take away from this article, it's that post-traumatic growth is a possibility, not an expectation. Perhaps these reminders are worth carrying with you.
Not everyone experiences post-traumatic growth—and that’s okay.
Growth isn't something you can force. It may emerge months or years later—or not at all. It’s often something you recognise in hindsight, rather than something you decide to create.
Growth isn’t a measure of how well you’re healing.
You don't have to feel ‘stronger’ because of what happened.
Growth isn’t always dramatic. Small shifts in perspective can be just as meaningful. Sometimes growth is quiet.
Growth doesn't erase what happened.
Growth and grief can coexist.
You don't have to turn your pain into purpose for your healing to matter.
Surviving what you’ve been through is enough.
Final thoughts
Post-traumatic growth isn't the goal of healing, and it isn't something anyone owes the world.
Talking about post-traumatic growth requires care. The possibility of growth should never be used to minimise trauma, rush healing, or suggest that suffering was worthwhile. People deserve space to grieve what happened while also making space for meaningful changes if they emerge over time.
Remember…
Post-traumatic growth is a possibility, not an expectation.
Post-traumatic growth acknowledges that, even after something deeply painful, life can still hold meaning, connection, and hope, and that living through something profoundly difficult can sometimes shape us in ways we never anticipated.
But this isn’t everyone’s experience—and that's okay too.
Respecting someone’s trauma means making space for both possibilities: that they may experience meaningful change over time, and that they may not.
Sources
Beck, C. T., & Watson, S. (2016). Posttraumatic Growth After Birth Trauma: "I Was Broken, Now I Am Unbreakable". MCN: The American journal of maternal child nursing, 41(5), 264–271. https://doi.org/10.1097/NMC.0000000000000259
Beck, C. T., Watson, S., & Gable, R. K. (2018). Traumatic Childbirth and Its Aftermath: Is There Anything Positive?. The Journal of perinatal education, 27(3), 175–184. https://doi.org/10.1891/1058-1243.27.3.175
Calhoun, L. G., & Tedeschi, R. G. (1998). Posttraumatic growth: Future directions. In R. G. Tedeschi, C. L. Park, & L. G. Calhoun (Eds.), Posttraumatic growth: Positive changes in the aftermath of crisis (pp. 215–238). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Sawyer, A., & Ayers, S. (2009). Post-traumatic growth in women after childbirth. Psychology & Health, 24(4), 457–471. https://doi.org/10.1080/08870440701864520
Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). “Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence.” Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327965pli1501_01
This blog is informed by lived experience and is not intended as medical advice.
If you or someone you know needs support, Perinatal Stories Australia encourages you to reach out to Lifeline (13 11 14), 13YARN (13 19 76), or Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467).
