What is EMDR? A Gentle Guide for Parents Recovering from Birth Trauma and PTSD
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Perhaps your pregnancy, birth, or early days of parenthood didn't go the way you'd hoped. Maybe there was an emergency, a pregnancy loss, a frightening medical complication, or you were left feeling scared, powerless or unlike yourself. Or perhaps this time of life has stirred up memories of past trauma you thought you'd left behind.
If any of this feels familiar, you may have heard someone recommend EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy. You might also be wondering how moving your eyes, listening to sounds, or feeling gentle taps could possibly help after something so overwhelming.
You're not alone in asking that question.
This guide explains what EMDR is, how it works, what happens during treatment, what the research says, and what to consider if you are exploring this therapy.
What is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.
It's an evidence-based, structured psychological therapy that helps people process traumatic memories or distressing experiences so they feel less overwhelming over time.
In your words.
“I was really sceptical… I don't know how it works, it just works! Your eyes move back and forth. I describe it as: it takes the sting out of it. I can remember what happened, but it's not like I'm stuck there anymore.”
The Australian Guidelines for the Prevention and Treatment of PTSD recommend EMDR as a first-line psychological treatment for adults with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), alongside trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapies (Phoenix Australia, 2021).
EMDR doesn't erase your memories or ask you to pretend the trauma never happened. Instead, it helps your brain process those memories differently, reducing the emotional intensity attached to them. Many people describe the memory as still being there, but no longer feeling as though they're reliving it.
What can you expect during an EMDR session?
One of the biggest misconceptions about EMDR is that you'll be expected to relive your trauma from beginning to end.
That's not how it works.
Rather than asking you to repeatedly describe every detail of what happened, EMDR focuses on helping your brain process the distress that the memory continues to cause.
In your words.
“So you recall the event, sit in the feelings, notice where in the body you’re feeling it… and you just watch this ball go back and forth as you sit in that feeling and slowly, over 30 or 60 seconds, it releases.
It’s the most bizarre treatment!
There’s another way that [my psychologist] does it where she has a long stick that she holds up that has a little node on the end that I stare at, and she finds a point in my vision, I look around and there’s a certain eye position where you feel that feeling most intensely, and then I stare at the stick as I sit in that feeling and it slowly releases.”
Before trauma processing begins, your specially trained therapist will spend time getting to know you, understanding your experiences, and helping you develop strategies to manage distress. Trauma processing only begins when both you and your therapist feel ready.
During processing, your therapist will guide you through a structured process using bilateral stimulation. This may involve:
following your therapist's fingers with your eyes
listening to alternating sounds through headphones
gentle taps on your hands or knees.
Throughout this process, you'll revisit aspects of a traumatic memory at a pace that feels manageable, with your therapist supporting you every step of the way. You remain in control throughout the process and can pause, slow down or stop at any time.
Over time, many people find these memories become easier to think about without the same level of distress. While every person's experience is different, EMDR may be helpful for a range of trauma-related experiences during pregnancy, birth and early parenthood.
What can EMDR help with during the perinatal period?
Although EMDR is best known as a treatment for PTSD, emerging research suggests it may also help some people process the effects of trauma experiences during pregnancy, birth and early parenthood (Chiorino et al., 2020; Kopmeiners et al., 2023).
Trauma doesn't always look the way people expect. It isn't only about what happened during birth—it can also include experiences before or after pregnancy, or earlier life experiences that resurface during this time.
In your words.
“For that horrible memory of Luca turning blue and going to resus, I did EMDR for that. I still feel those emotions really intensely because that’s my baby! At the time I definitely felt like it helped a lot, but I don’t think I’ll ever look back on that and not well up if I’m describing it to someone.”
EMDR may be helpful for people experiencing:
birth trauma
childbirth-related PTSD
trauma following pregnancy loss or stillbirth
traumatic medical experiences during pregnancy or after birth
previous trauma that has resurfaced during pregnancy or early parenthood, including experiences such as childhood trauma, sexual assault or previous medical trauma.
Some people also notice improvements in anxiety or mood when unresolved trauma is addressed. However, EMDR isn't considered a treatment for every form of anxiety or depression, and your clinician may recommend other therapies depending on your individual circumstances.
For some parents, EMDR becomes one part of the journey towards healing—helping them move forward without feeling defined by what happened.
Is EMDR right for you?
EMDR can be an important part of recovery for some people, but like any therapy, it isn't the right approach for everyone.
In your words.
“Whenever you try something new, you think, ‘oh, is this gonna work? Am I just tapping myself for no reason?’ And it was really therapeutic for me in so many different ways, and we've used it in so many different contexts and settings to target many different things, and it's been so beneficial.”
Choosing to explore EMDR is a personal decision influenced by your individual circumstances, the experiences you want support with, and where you are in your recovery. A mental health professional with recognised EMDR training—and, where possible, experience supporting people through birth trauma and perinatal mental health challenges—can help you understand if, and when, it may be an appropriate option.
It's okay to ask questions and take your time as you decide if EMDR feels like the right fit.
Whatever approach you choose, what's most important is knowing that healing is possible—and that you don't have to carry your experiences alone.
Healing after trauma
There isn't one "right" way to heal after trauma. What recovery looks like—and how long it takes—will be different for everyone.
Remember…
There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ reason for experiencing trauma. If your body or mind still responds as though the danger is happening now, your experience deserves compassion and support.
Whether your trauma relates to birth, pregnancy loss, infertility, a medical emergency, or something that happened long before you became a parent, your experiences are real and deserve compassion.
EMDR is one of several evidence-based therapies that may help people process trauma and move towards recovery. For some, it can be a life-changing part of healing. For others, a different approach may feel like a better fit. What's most important is finding support that feels safe, compassionate and right for you.
Healing doesn't always mean the memory disappears. More often, it means the memory no longer has the same hold on your everyday life—making room for life beyond the trauma.
Support and Resources
If you're looking for support, information, or the next step in your recovery, you don't have to navigate it alone. These resources are a great place to start.
Your GP, midwife, or obstetrician can listen to your concerns, screen for anxiety, depression or PTSD, prepare a Mental Health Treatment Plan (if appropriate), and refer you to perinatal mental health services
Gidget Foundation Australia provides specialist psychological support for expecting, new and potential parents, including telehealth and in-person services
COPE (Centre of Perinatal Excellence) provides evidence-based information about perinatal mental health and a national directory of support services
ForWhen is a free national navigation service that helps expecting and new parents find local perinatal mental health support
PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia) offers free, confidential emotional support for expecting and new parents via its national helpline (1300 726 306)
The EMDR Association of Australia (EMDRAA) provides information about EMDR and a searchable directory of accredited EMDR practitioners across Australia
The Perinatal Stories Australia podcast shares lived experiences of birth trauma, PTSD and recovery, including conversations about therapies such as EMDR
Sources
Phoenix Australia. (2021). Chapter 6: Treatment recommendations. In Australian guidelines for the prevention and treatment of acute stress disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder and complex PTSD (3rd ed.). https://www.phoenixaustralia.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/PTSD-Guidelines-Chapter-6-Treatment-recommendations.pdf
Chiorino, V., Cattaneo, M. C., Macchi, E. A., Salerno, R., Roveraro, S., Bertolucci, G. G., Mosca, F., Fumagalli, M., Cortinovis, I., Carletto, S., & Fernandez, I. (2020). The EMDR recent birth trauma protocol: A pilot randomized clinical trial after traumatic childbirth. Psychology & Health, 35(7), 795–810. https://doi.org/10.1080/08870446.2019.1699088
Kopmeiners, E. H. M., Hollander, M. H., van Voorst, N., & Stramrood, C. A. I. (2023). Effect of early postpartum EMDR on reducing psychological complaints in women with a traumatic childbirth experience. Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology, 44(1), 2229010. https://doi.org/10.1080/0167482X.2023.2229010
EMDR Association of Australia. (n.d.). Learn about EMDR. https://emdraa.org/learn-about-emdr/
This blog is informed by lived experience and is not intended as medical advice.
If you or someone you know needs support, Perinatal Stories Australia encourages you to reach out to Lifeline (13 11 14), 13YARN (13 19 76), or Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467).
